We understand that there is a true, non-ironic marketing campaign for fruits and vegetables. 

We think that is noteworthy. Broccoli and kale deserve as much marketing firepower as Dorito’s and diet Coke. We are also glad that we are not in charge of the marketing. After putting vegetables into every dinner through dressing them up, subterfuge, exhorting their healthiness and just nagging, we are glad to be out of the marketing veggie campaign.

In fact, we have gone the other way. We have taken a turn towards the dark side. We have come up with the anti-marketing for some of our favorite foods. Do you think these taglines have legs?

Cauliflower: It’s good for you and it makes your house smell.

Oranges: A Healthy Fruit that is both sticky and non user friendly.

Kale: As bitter as family dinners can be.

Avocados: Even Though We’re Green, We’re Super High Calorie!

Potatoes: You can dish us out because we always have dirt.

Pomegranates: Don’t Wear Your Good Clothes